Awww, Nuts!

The Peanut Gallery Returns!

Last week was eventful. I found out that I can no longer eat peanut butter. Well, I can’t eat peanuts. So no peanut butter. Exactly how I discovered this is perhaps a tale better left untold, particularly if you have a weak stomach and/or if you just ate. I’ll say that a rash was involved. I’ll leave the rest up to your imagination.

To fully understand what a calamity this is to me, I guess I need to explain how important peanut butter is to my diet. Seriously. If my cravings were to be explained in a food pyramid, it would look something like this.

My Pyramid of Cravings

Yes… comic sans font. That is how juvenile I recognize my cravings to be.

Why are you laughing? This is a disaster! I buy peanut butter in 4 pound tubs. And yes, I know: I have the taste buds of a 12 year old boy.

Mmmmm... Peanut butter.

You thought I was joking about the 4 pound peanut butter tub stuff, huh?

I have serious roasted peanut cravings. Mr Peanut and I are long-time friends. He’s practically family. But peanuts and I no longer agree with each other.

So… no peanuts for me. This is a serious problem, aside from my peanut butter addiction. Peanuts are in practically everything. Have you tried to find granola bars that aren’t processed with peanuts? Pft. Can’t find them. The entire breakfast isle is practically off limits to me now.


I know that you are not supposed to base your nutrition on peanut butter and Taco Bell. I know. I fully believe in living a paleo/low carb lifestyle as prescribed by Gary Taubes. The problem with living paleo/low carb is that the lifestyle is stinkin’ expensive. I am a freelance artist; there is no room in my budget for all the moo meat I want. (And believe me, I want. See that food pyramid above for reference.) I’m lucky to get beans and rice and I know it. (I suppose it’s a good thing that I also crave Taco Bell.)

My new peanut butter ban is a serious issue to both the budget and my daily protein intake. I’m looking for options, both on the cheap protein and on the cravings.

Luckily, it’s Fall. The exception to that cravings pyramid above occurs in the Fall. If my Fall cravings were to be explained with a food pyramid, it would look something like this.

Pyramid of Fall Cravings

This isn’t what I eat, it’s what I want to eat. I’ll feel this way right up until late Winter.

You keep laughing at me like that, you’re going to hurt my feelings. Just saying.

And yes, it’s juvenile. Thus the comic sans font. Again.